Finding Hobbies as an Adult
Almost everyone I talk to expresses a desire to try something they’ve wanted to do for years and never have. A dance lesson, watercolor painting, learning a language, picking up an instrument, trying a new sport. It’s often mentioned with such fervor, I’d believe them if they said they’d sign up for a class before our dinner was complete. But why does it seem as though, despite the intense longing towards starting a new hobby, these ideas so rarely move beyond anything more than a well-intentioned idea?
Making change is difficult. There’s the immediate barriers like cost, finding time, figuring out what to sign up for, etc., but the real hurdle, at least for me, is always getting over the fear. As much as I try, there’s always a small part of me that hates being bad at things. It’s the what if’s that have the power to pile up and paralyze me. What if I buy all of the gear for snowboarding and end up sucking at it? What if I sign up for a kickball team and embarrass myself? What if I go to the group class and don’t find a friend? Or outside of ability, what if I invest time and money into something and simply end up hating it?
When I first graduated I really struggled with this. I felt like I was floating. I would dabble in a few things but was afraid to commit and give myself the opportunity to fully fall in love with something new. I would venture out until I got to the end of my rope and then retreat back to what was comfortable; i.e. subbing on sports teams, pulling out the old drum practice pad, and getting into running for a few weeks. I wasn’t sure I knew what I wanted to pursue or what would bring me newfound pleasure.
I sometimes fear that we teeter towards glamourizing hobbies and making them another metric of success. If your hobby is a status symbol you’re missing the point. Full stop. If there’s pressure to do something to fit an image or to have a cool answer for, “What do you like to do for fun”, it’s not a hobby — it’s a task.
That gave me a lot of pause at first — figuring out what I was doing for others — and what I like to do for myself. To refocus, I thought about if I had a weekend completely to myself and left my phone turned off, how would I fill my time to experience the most joy? What would I choose to do to fill my own cup?
Having hobbies is just code for repeatedly experiencing pleasure in life. It’s rushing home from work to go for a long bike ride with a friend. It’s waking up at 4:30am to make it to a trailhead for sunrise. It’s spending an hour and a half playing the same melody over, and over, and over again, absolutely transfixed.
Once I got out of my own way and thought about what I like to do for me, the pieces started falling into place. Photography, chess, snowboarding, hiking, ding-ding-ding… writing. I’m not particularly good at any of them but I — and I mean this sincerely — I don’t care! And my life is better for it.
I knew a few people who seemed to have so. many. hobbies. And I didn’t get it at first. Like ok, calm down, we see you, you’ve got this hobby thing in the bag. But I get it now. There’s an allure to trying something new. It takes your absolute focus and forces you to be present. I’m not worried about making an Invisalign appointment when I’m rocketing down a hill on two wheels going 40mph in a spandex suit.
Starting something completely new is also a satisfying way to watch yourself grow. While not the sole reason for getting into something, it certainly is a gratifying byproduct. With a new hobby, I found the rate of improvement to be astonishing. By the end of my first season snowboarding, I was on black diamond runs and dabbling with getting off groomers and heading for the trees. At the beginning? I was looking around at other people to figure out how to strap into my bindings. That growth felt monumental.
When I meet people or talk to my friends, the stories about their hobbies inevitably lead to the most lively conversations. You watch their face light up as they talk about an adrenaline-filled ride down a tough trail in Whistler, or share photos of a perfect loaf of bread or shiny new leaf on a plant. There is so much pride and satisfaction in those moments and it’s what I believe makes life the most fulfilling.
My hobbies are adding lines to my life resume and helping me experience things I never would have imagined. They’ve introduced me to new people, pushed me outside of my comfort zone, and are helping me make incredible memories every day. It may have been difficult to get started but its been worth it every time.