To My Upstairs Neighbor
Dear Neighbor,
Welcome! I’m delighted you’ve moved in. You seem like a very dynamic person and it’s my sincerest hope that we have a hallway run-in some day. By the sounds of it, you must be an avid walker, a night club DJ, and a carpenter. Quite a curious combination if you ask me but I’m dying to know how you’ve gotten so skilled at them all.
I admire you, neighbor. You’re someone who moves with purpose. Like a writer, pacing frantically as you parse out the penultimate chapter of your next novel. I have much to learn from you. You see, my physical therapist recently suggested I forget about a mid foot strike while running, and revert back to a heel strike as I work through a knee injury. I’m not so good at that, but you, neighbor–you’re the best heel striker in the whole building. I can only dream of being half as good a heel striker as you. Thud, thud, thud. You're like a metronome as you move from room to room.
I often wonder if your apartment layout is the same as mine. Sometimes, with my movie paused and my teeth clenched, I sit there and imagine what you’re doing as you stomp from what I presume is your living room to your kitchen, and back again. And your balcony… that must be a tantalizing place. Even in the middle of December, while it’s pouring rain, you get more use out of your balcony than all the other tenants combined. You’re a safe person though. I know this to be true. How? Because your door is always shut tight. Slammed shut. With the securest of intentions. You need not fear bugs and critters entering your space with your door shut so tight. You are safe, neighbor.
I wonder what your music taste is. I can never tell, but from the bass line it seems to be upbeat and a bit funky. I’m surprised you don’t pace to the beat of the music. Between that groovy bass line, my dishes rattling, and your snare drum like steps, we’d have quite the trio. I’ve tried to shazam what you’re listening to through my ceiling, but I think you need to turn the volume up just a little bit more for the app to work. Oh well, it’s a fun game to keep me guessing.
I hope you have friends over soon, neighbor. It seems like you must have plenty of seating for everyone. Perhaps an IKEA couch, IKEA chair, IKEA desk, and an IKEA coffee table. I love IKEA–you can’t go wrong with the Scandinavian style. All of my items must be pretty out of date though. I didn’t have to do any hammering with mine, just screws and dowel pins. Yours must be fancy and advanced to need so much hammering. Congratulations on figuring out the right configuration for it all! You haven’t rearranged in a few days so I can only assume the feng shui is as good as it’s going to get. I hope you’ll let me know the next time you need to move the bigger items, I don’t want you to scratch your floors.
Anyways… I’m off to bed now, neighbor. I’d say don’t stay up too late, but I know you just started Interstellar so it’ll be a few more hours for you. That reminds me… I’ve been meaning to ask what subwoofer you have? It’s perfect for your 600 square foot apartment and really fills the space with an immersive sound. Even shazam can grab Hans Zimmer's masterful score this time. I saw some Sonos boxes in the recycling and I wonder if that was you, neighbor; you have great taste if that’s the case. Oh and don’t drink too much water tonight. You had a lot of bathroom trips during the wee hours yesterday and I’m worried about your REM cycle.
Talk soon, neighbor. You’ll be in my nightmares this evening.
Fondly,
the apartment below